What is sex therapy— and what is it not?
What Sex Therapy Is—and What It Is Not
Sex therapy is one of those topics people often whisper about, joke about, or completely misunderstand. Thanks to movies, pop culture, and lingering taboos, many people have a fuzzy—if not flat-out wrong—idea of what actually happens in sex therapy.
So let’s clear the air. Here’s what sex therapy is, what it is not, and why it can be a powerful, practical form of support for both individuals and couples.
What Sex Therapy Is
1. A Form of Talk Therapy
Sex therapy is a specialized type of psychotherapy. It looks and feels a lot like other forms of therapy: you sit (fully clothed) in an office— or on a video call— and talk. There is no physical contact, no demonstrations, and no sexual activity of any kind.
Licensed sex therapists are trained mental health professionals—such as psychologists, counselors, or social workers—who have additional education in sexual health, relationships, and intimacy.
2. A Safe Place to Talk About Sex—Without Shame
Sex therapy creates a confidential, non-judgmental space to talk about things many people were never taught how to discuss openly, including:
Desire discrepancy between partners
Questions about sexual identity, orientation, or preferences
Anxiety, shame, or guilt around sex
Difficulty with arousal or orgasm
Pain during sex
Effects of trauma, illness, aging, or medications on intimacy
The goal is understanding—not labeling or blaming.
3. Rooted in Both Mind and Body
Sex therapists recognize that sexual concerns are rarely “just physical” or “just psychological.” These concerns often involve a mix of emotions, beliefs, relationship dynamics, stress, medical factors, and life experiences.
A sex therapist may collaborate with doctors, pelvic floor physical therapists, or other specialists when needed, while focusing on the emotional and relational pieces in therapy.
4. Practical and Goal-Oriented
Sex therapy isn’t endless talking and self-reflection. Many sessions are structured around specific goals, such as improving communication, reducing anxiety, rebuilding trust, or increasing pleasure and connection.
Therapists may suggest:
Communication exercises
Mindfulness or body-awareness practices
Educational resources
Journaling or reflection exercises
At-home exercises
Everything is discussed and agreed upon—nothing is forced or surprising.
What Sex Therapy Is Not
1. It Is Not Hands-On or Physical
This is the biggest myth. Sex therapists do not touch clients, observe sexual activity, or ask clients to perform sexual acts in session. Ever.
If someone claiming to be a therapist suggests otherwise, that is unethical and a red flag.
2. It Is Not Only for “Serious Problems”
You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from sex therapy. Many people seek it out to:
Strengthen intimacy
Explore what they want and need more clearly
Navigate life transitions (parenthood, menopause, illness)
Improve communication around sex
Curiosity and growth are just as valid reasons as distress.
3. It Is Not About “Fixing” You
Sex therapy doesn’t assume something is broken. Often, the work is about unlearning harmful messages, adjusting unrealistic expectations, and understanding how perfectly normal responses developed for understandable reasons.
The focus is compassion and increased understanding, not correction.
4. It Is Not Just for Couples
Individuals of all relationship statuses see sex therapists. You don’t need a partner to work on your relationship with your own body, desire, or sexual history.
What to Expect If You Go
A first session usually involves:
Talking about what brings you in
Reviewing your personal, relational, and sexual history
Discussing goals and boundaries
Setting a pace that feels comfortable for you
You are always in control of what you share and when.
Why Sex Therapy Matters
Sex is deeply connected to identity, vulnerability, pleasure, and connection—yet it’s one of the least openly discussed parts of life. Sex therapy helps bridge that gap with accurate information, emotional support, and practical tools.
At its core, sex therapy is about communication, safety, self-understanding, and connection.
And those are things everyone deserves.
Looking for a sex therapist in Indiana?
I (Charlie Ball (she/her), LMHC) am currently accepting new clients in the state of Indiana! I see clients in person in Indianapolis (specifically the Broad Ripple area) and virtually across the state. I work with both individuals and couples, 18 and older. If you’re interested in booking a free 15-minute consultation call, click the “Book now” button in the upper right corner of the screen!
